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Writer's pictureDonna Fowler-Marchant

Doing the Hard Stuff



It is not unusual for us to take Bible verses and passages out of context and then use them to try to score points in a theological argument or squeeze them onto a bumper sticker. A case in point is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

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This verse has been used to bolster success at everything from weight loss to writing a bestseller, notwithstanding the fact that Paul was referring to possessing the mind of Christ which enabled him to be at peace despite outward circumstances and challenges.

A rare gift, that! I’m liable to be easily frustrated and impatient at insignificant things, which does not help my blood pressure or my spirit and to feel deep ongoing resentment at insults and injuries. I was looking at one of Wesley’s 13 discourses on the Sermon on the Mount for something else when the following paragraph jumped out at me—

Now, seeing thou canst do all things through Christ strengthening thee, be merciful as thy Father in heaven is merciful! Love thy neighbour as thyself! Love friends and enemies as thy own soul! And let thy love be longsuffering and patient towards all men. Let it be kind, soft, benign; inspiring thee with the most amiable sweetness, and the most fervent and tender affection. Let it rejoice in the truth, wheresoever it is found; the truth that is after godliness. Enjoy whatsoever brings glory to God, and promotes peace and goodwill among men. In love, cover all things, -- of the dead and the absent speaking nothing but good; believe all things which may any way tend to clear your neighbour's character; hope all things in his favour; and endure all things, triumphing over all opposition: For true love never faileth, in time or in eternity. ~ John Wesley (sermon on Sermon on the Mount. #13)




I was caught short by what should have been obvious. When I feel despair because I fail to love my neighbors as myself, it’s because I don’t remember to seek to be holy as Christ is holy. I forget that while I (on my own) cannot love others as God first loved me, I can do so as the Spirit works within to strengthen and create in me that mind of Christ!

When it seems impossible for me to love the person I see as “other” or to be patient with the repeated failings of a friend or to perceive the pain behind someone else’s barbed remarks, it’s actually not impossible at all. Hard, yes. Impossible, no. Because the indwelling of the Spirit enables me to open my heart, to be changed, to be more like Jesus, I can firmly oppose whatever is wrong and work against injustice without demonizing another person, and I can see them with the eyes of Christ and love them with the love of Christ.


To do so is not to court abuse. Loving oneself includes healthy boundaries and self-respect, and loving others does not imply turning a blind eye to oppression. Love instead expects, hopes, believes, and works for what is best, trusting in God’s ability to bring good out of even the most painful situations and in the transforming power of grace to bring out the good in us and in others. And while that isn’t easily put on a bumper sticker, it is very good news indeed.


Wesley consistently highlighted one of the most important and beautiful gifts of God, holiness of heart and life. A complete renewal and renovation that changes us into people who are so filled with love for God and one another that there is no room for sin. This is not because we are so good but because God is so great. And so, relying upon that grace, we can indeed do all the hard stuff through the One who strengthens us. Thanks be to God!

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